Thursday, September 3, 2009

Beg to differ

Based on the statistics of my Facebook profile, the following analysis was given by an application I recently added: "You have 847 friends, 727 more than average. 39% are male, 61% are female. 88 are single, 332 are dating or married. If you contracted a deadly variant of flu, you would likely infect 16 people, 2 of whom would die. If you died today, an estimated 724 people would try to attend your funeral. Based on your Facebook profile, you have a 96% probability of getting married. You are likely to earn US$3.6 million and have 2.8 children over your lifetime."

My analysis: Need to delete people. Need to see the movie "I Love You, Man". There are 88 happy people who don't know it. The "happily dating" 332 doesn't count those who are "happily having affairs" or "happily divorced". The number would be higher. I heartfully apologize for the 2 people I will eventually kill. I don't apologize for the one's I will infect. You should have washed your hands. If 724 people attend my funeral, hell, I'm selling tickets. The 4% chance of not getting married sounds more enticing, if only to prove the Facebook application wrong. All my inheritance of the yet to be seen $3.6 million will be left under a trust fund for the poor 0.8th child. What, he comes without a leg and an eyebrow?

7 comments:

GBA said...

"...If 724 people attend my funeral, hell, I'm selling tickets..."

Demasiado bueno...

Art Vandelay said...

Toto, como siempre demasiado bueno el post, pero solo tengo una duda. como se llama el application?

Toto said...

Art: http://apps.facebook.com/statsaboutme/

Art Vandelay said...

According to http://www.statsaboutme.com I have 248 friends, 128 more than average. 46% are male, 54% are female. 35 are single, 63 are dating or married. If I contracted a deadly variant of flu, I would likely infect 10 people, 1 of whom would die. If I died today, an estimated 424 people would try to attend my funeral. Based on my Facebook profile, I have a 90% probability of getting married. I am likely to earn US$1.8 million and have 2.2 children over my lifetime.

Toto mi pobre hijo como que va a ser solo una pirna con una ceja, por favor prestame una parte de tu fortuna que es el doble que la mia y no me va a alcanzar para ayudarlo.

Saul Rojas Blonval said...

Llegue aquí después de la elegía en vida que te hizo Nina, con amigas así who needs a wife.
Loving the Blog so far, and according to http://www.statsaboutme.com every one of us is gonna kill at least one human being with a deadly flu, earn at least US$ 2 million, which I would love to see sooner than later, and have a seriously deformed child.
The future looks grim and full of phantom limbs, but we'll be wealthy enough to not care about it! jajajaja

Saludos desde las Españas

Toto said...

Saul: bienvenido al tea party! Todavia estoy esperando the 2 mill and taking bets on which of my friends I'm gonna kill jejeje!

ardi! said...

Ok, hice la basura de statsabout me y "oh hell yes I differ"!. Lo que no entiendo es cómo teniendo 500 amigos menos que tú voy a infectar más gente. Acaso FB me vio la cara de enferma??? Y qué es eso de casarme y tener 2.3 hijos???? ¿Cuántas veces me divorcio? X, mañana voy a ir a un psychic a ver si me dice la verdad, porque ella seguro es mucho más seria y acertada que FB.

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